I know a thing or two about being single. How do I know anything? Try experience. I have been single for going on 45 years (and I’m only 25) so I know a thing or two. The thing is though, why did God have to make it so that even though you’re single and not married, that drive to want to rub naughty parts is prominent?
So as I am claiming myself to be an expert in this field, I thought I would take this chance to go over some thoughts and topics regarding this subject.
A. Sexual drive.
God created sex. Sounds weird to say that but He did. He created it that so when a man and a woman find each other and decide to spend their lives with each other, that they would have something they could both enjoy. A gift to each other.
That being said, what do you do if you’re a single christian person? I know I’m not the only one who struggles with this concept. What do I do? That drive is there. Ever present. They say the average male thinks about sex like what, every six seconds? Oops there I did it. That is just an incredible stat. Oops I just did it again. I can’t look at porn since I’ll feel guilty for being Christian (and I’m not catholic so there goes that excuse). I don’t even have anyone to hug. So why can’t God just sort of cut off the feed to that sexual drive and needs until I am fortunate enough to find some poor sucker of a woman to marry?
I know God created sex. It is suppose to be a beautiful and meaningful thing between two of His creations. But growing up in this day and age, there are so many things that make it so difficult to deal with. For example, I’ve had to hold back about 15 dumb middle school sexual jokes just in this writing already. Being a single young Christian person is insanely hard.
This drive that is installed in us can be overbearing. It’s part of our nature to need to be with someone else sexually. If it wasn’t, then there wouldn’t be any children. On the bright side of this, there would then be no Little Bow Wow.
B. The word “sex” being offensive
It’s as if everyone tip toes around this subject. I agree it is uncomfortable. I get uncomfortable when it’s brought up (mainly due to my lack of experience and because it depresses me that no ladies feel the need to feel me up). This is true in church especially. Being Christians sometimes hinders us. Sex is a part of life. It is necessary for the survival of species.
Recently we had a men’s retreat weekend at some mountain cabin resort. During this, we discussed many things, mainly the sexual battles men endure. This was a highly uncomfortable time for me. Was it because of the subject matter? Sort of. Mainly it was because I was the only single young guy there. It was almost as uncomfortable as that one time I thought a woman was pregnant (note to self, never assume). So yes it is an uncomfortable subject. But why? We talk about other things God has created.
C. Friends with benefits.
What a weird form or words to go together. Do these every work out? Judging by the television shows I watch the answer is no. At least one of the two people more then likely have feelings for the other. I cannot comment to much on this due to my ability to never be apart of this. Now if I was rich….wait that would imply that women think money makes a guy more attractive….oh wait…
*EDITORS NOTE: the author is very sensitive when it comes to women due to every one of his handful of relationships ending in a way that one would consider less than great. Also, he can be sort of a jerk sometimes. He doesn’t even pay me to edit. What a cheap skate. He once asked a waitress if she had a mirror in her pants cause he was in them. But I digress…”
There are a lot of questions we may have for God when it comes to being single and sex. What’s the point of having this want for sex if we shouldn’t use it till marriage? I dunno. I do think that sex isn’t such a bad thing. God made it. Does that mean we should go around and let people have sex right in town square? Of course not. That is offensive and let’s face it, we all know it’d end up being two ugly people (*EDITORS NOTE: the author just scratched a date off his planner).
So how do you deal if you’re the single Christian person? That’s a great question. You can go to a club since dancing is pretty much now sex with your clothes on. Or you can pray. Or when you have that urge you can look at a picture that will automatically shrink you’re funions. Did you know that if you are a guy and you just read this then you thought about sex at least 4526852 times. We all know women aren’t like that. They are much more lady like. Heck, women don’t even toot in public.
While I’m in church, I feel the obligation to make a conscience effort not to think about sex so I don’t let Jesus down. Why is that? Perhaps it’s because there are families there. While I completely agree sex is a subject to be talked about only when there are no young ears to hear it, I also believe it to be important to talk about when you’re single, in you’re 20s and did i mention single?
So why did I spend a whole blog on sex? Was it so I could put the word sex in the topics and watch the views for my site skyrocket? Yes. But it’s also because I believe it to be something important that is rarely talked about. Something that us young single people struggle with.
In conclusion, I decided to end this blog by helping everyone out. If you ever feel you are getting that urge but want it to go away, I have included a picture that will aid you. Just looking at this pic should make you think about things such as life, liberty, america, anything other than sex.
Of course, that’s unless you’re into that sort of thing. Which in that case that’s something for a different blog on a different site.


9 comments
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April 28, 2008 at 1:41 am
Jules
Please. Single Christian women feel the need to have sex too. It is definitely not just a guy thing. It may be a little harder for men (no pun intended) but girls struggle with it. I have had so many conversations with Christian women about this. It’s not easy for us either.
April 28, 2008 at 5:30 pm
Rebecca
I’m with Jules on this. I’m 26 and single with 2 of my friends already married and hearing them talk . . .good grief.
While it may not be outwardly apparent our thinking about sex, and the desires that come with that – it’s still there. Just cause we don’t “toot” in public doesn’t mean we are gas free. We just don’t broadcast.
As for why God doesn’t turn it off until we are married – I think it’s to push us closer to him – we can’t get through a day without dependance on him. And if you’ve had the anticipation for so long then when that glorious day does come it will be even better!!!
April 28, 2008 at 6:45 pm
missetiquette
I’m a single Christian woman and I have to agree with Rebecca and Jules on this. You fellas are not alone in this. We might not broadcast it (after all, that wouldn’t be ladylike) but we still think about it and struggle with it. That’s when dependancy on God comes in handy………..well, that and a good distraction.
April 30, 2008 at 3:28 pm
Tony Scott
I have been married for twenty years, however I’m in the process of gathering information for the Singles Ministry at my church and therefore have a question.
There’s a saying “you can’t miss something that you never had”.
Now the question: If one is a virgin and has never experience sexual pleasure of any sort. Is that person’s sexual desires as strong as the one who may have chosing to abstain from sex after having experienced same?
For a virgin; is it more of a desiring for affection or a close and intimate relationship w/o sex? Or is it a sexual yearning to be satisfied as it would be for someone who has experienced the pleasures of being in a sexual relationship and for whatever the reason is nolonger in that relationship.
October 9, 2008 at 5:30 am
Natalie
I found this blog trying to find a picture of Kermit the Frog for a worksheet I am making for my students. (I teach high school English and we are getting ready to study The Celbrated Frog of Calaveras County). I got more than I bargained for…but a very interesting topic. (-:
October 27, 2008 at 12:32 pm
Joel Costello
http://www.midtowncolumbia.com/index.cfm?sp=teaching
I reccomend downloading the sermons “good sex, bad sex”
They were both very good…
January 11, 2009 at 8:51 am
John
I am on the same boat, I have desires but at the same time sex is just a part of marriage. Lets say I got married right now and I satisfied my physical needs but I got married before God made me into the man he wanted me to be. I would ruin my marriage and I would not be able to enjoy my wife and have the happy marriage I have prayed for. Therefore you have to wait to become who God wants you to be and then he will send you the right girl to enjoy sex and all the other gifts he has for you.
October 4, 2009 at 7:41 am
Julio
Hey guys yes it is not easy and it meams unfare to be tempted al the time am telling you we all can overcome this let just hold on to Gods word.
Ephesians 6:10-19
10Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.
19Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, 20for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.
October 24, 2009 at 10:02 am
Mark G Pakulak
Great post! I feel for your pain buddy….. Keep up the good writing!