Ohhhhhhh Roger…

 

If you haven’t heard, the ladies claiming to have had an affair with famed baseball player Roger Clemmons is on the rise.  It’s becoming an epidemic.  Let’s see if it’s contagious.  So to recap, if you have a daughter who is under fifteen, do not let her near him.  If you’re married and would like to have an affair with Roger Clemmons, then please feel free to fill out this resume. 

 

Name:

 

Age:

 

Are you married?

 

If so then to whom?

 

Do you believe I should be in the hall of fame?

 

If so please explain why:

 

 

 

Have you ever had performance enhancing drugs?

 

Are you prepared to take the fall if I have ever had performance enhancing drugs?

 

 

 

 

Fill that out and send to Roger Clemmons.  He wouldn’t give me his address though so just hunt for it. 

 

 

On American Idol last night, it was Brooke who was sent home.  This is because the quota of someone who always looks like they’re about to explode emotionally was being filled by Paula Abdul.  And as for Paula, let’s all give her a break.  Do you know how hard it is to be on national television while also on four different kinds of drugs?  Me either but I’m sure it’s difficult.  As long as she has Randy there calling her his dawg though, I’m sure things will be ok.

 

Lastly, Ashlee Simpson’s new album is failing to meet expectations.  This raises many questions.  Number one, who in the world had expectations for Ashlee Simpson album?  Number two, I’ve never seen a nose job actually make someone hot.  Impressive.  People were questioning how this could happen.  How could Ashlee Simpson put out an album and it tank?  I can answer this easily.  Her music sucks.  I could make an album with nothing but the recorded sounds of kittens and cats being stepped on and it would sell better and sound better. 

 

*EDITOR’S NOTE:  the author wishes to inform PETA that he would never ever make such an album.  And if he were he would be sure to use the tofu kittens.  There, that should keep him from criticism. 

 

I will point out that I have not heard her album.  I will also point out that I still have the ability to choose what I listen to, which may or may not be the reason why I haven’t heard her album. 

 

To end Johnnyism today, I am having a poll.  You may give your answer by either replying and commenting to this, or by texting 0101 to…..

 

Here’s the question…

 

Do you think I should try out for American Idol, and if so, how far do you see me going? 

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