Last night Trevor and I decided that we would go see the new Indiana Jones movie on opening night. My week had been entirely CENSORED and I was ready for two hours of escape. We made sure to purchase our tickets early and were eagerly awaiting for 7 p.m. to come around. During this time I realized two things…

1. One of the few things that really makes me forget my troubles and my life in general is a movie

2. All of mine and Trevor’s friends seem to always have better things to do then to be seen in public with us. While this isn’t a rant about friends, this is just the latest in many, many instances where friends of ours all decided other things were more appealing then to spend time with us. Granted, I’m not at all blaming them. How do you think I feel? I have to spend time with me all the time. But, for the most part, if a close friend of mine asked me to do something or if I wanted to do something I would normally go for it (I am not perfect in this but I would like to think that overall this is truthful). This is why I’m my weekends usually end up as me staying at home cause everyone else is already doing something and would rather not invite me. And yes, this is my pity party.

 

Back to the story. Finally it was time to go into the theater. I had recently seen Iron Man and really liked it, so this movie had me hoping for good things as well. The second I walked into the theater, a blanket of heat smashed into my face. It had to be over 85 degrees in there. So this is my first point I want to rant on with movie theaters…

1. Temperature.

Why do movie theaters insist on making the room uncomfortable? There must be only two temperature settings on the movie theater thermostat. Polar Ice Caps Cold and Hell’s Sauna Hot. You never know if you should bring a blanket or a small travel size pool.

As I’m sitting there, watching annoying little movie trivia games on the big screen and sweating, I forced myself to just forget the heat. This however, is hard to do. It’s a well known fact that temperature can really alter your thoughts and make you only think about how hot or cold it is instead of focusing on something. But I soon let this go as the room goes dim. And now for my second rant on movie theaters…

2. Commercials

I paid for my movie ticket. I paid close to 10 bucks for my movie. This ticket price goes up all the time. If I pay for this movie, then I should NOT be subjected to commercials. If the movie was free, then by all means hit me with commercials. I PAID FOR THIS MOVIE, I DID NOT PAY FOR COMMERCIALS!!!!! If I have to see another stupid short film on Coca-Cola I’m going to destroy myself. Also, I know the movie theater is now digital, and the picture does look pretty great, but I really don’t have to watch a stupid short info thing on it. “It’s like the difference between Records and MP3’s.” WHAT? That’s an actual quote from that, proving how stupid it is. Also, I’m sorry token black guy who was grabbed for the short commercial spot, but we all know you don’t talk that way. Word playa.

So the commercials finally end. It’s still hot and my seat is damp from my sweat (I can paint a beautiful picture). After the trailers (if you don’t like movie trailers then you’re just stupid), that familiar and iconic movie score hits and the movie begins. All of a sudden, a phone rings. At first I thought maybe this was in the movie. Then it hit me, it was coming from the woman behind me. Who then proceeds to ANSWER HER PHONE! Does she whisper and quickly hang up? Of course not. That would at least be a little considerate. She talks to this person, has a friggin conversation with them. I should never know the person you’re talking to on a phone in a movie theater. So she ends the conversation. Alright we can get back to the movie, which has been pretty good so far.

You know, I can forgive you for your phone ringing one time in the movie theater. Maybe you just forgot to cut your phone off or at least put it on silent. It happens. But when it happens FIVE TOTAL TIMES????!!!!!!!!! How friggin inconsiderate of the people around you are you lady? Oh and the kicker? Not only did she never turn her phone down or off, she ANSWERED THE PHONE EVERY TIME!!! For instance, I know that her husband just didn’t feel like coming to the movie and elected to stay home, and that Margaret should try to get a hold of him there at that number. So my next rant on movie theaters…the people.

3. People

For the most part, the people in the movie theater are there for the same reason you are. So normally you do not have a problem. But when in our society did we decide that we should be inconsiderate of those around us? Talking on your phone during a movie? I haven’t felt like being that violent to a person in a long time. Should I have said something to her? I really doubt that would of done anything but have caused a ten minute ruckus, and I really wanted to see the movie. The other thing that happens is people talking to the people around them, OUT LOUD!!! Do you know what a whisper is? If you want to whisper, that’s cool with me. That doesn’t distract me (unless you’re pointing to me while doing so, then I become concerned). Look, I go to movies with my friends (again, the ones who decide they can bite a bullet and hang out with me for two hours), so I know there’s a temptation to comment on something during the movie to them. But I whisper. And if the movie is amazingly good, I rarely talk at all. I throw myself into the movie. I try to let myself get carried away into this alternate world of chase scenes and sword fights. So if you must talk, flippin whisper you bunch of jerks.

So those are my quick rants on movie theaters. Was the new Indiana Jones movie good? I thought so. It’s never going to live up to the original but it was good enough to make me want to watch the old ones again. If you like Indiana Jones then you’ll like this movie. If you don’t, then really why are you going to see it? For the commercials I assume. So, in conclusion, the movie was great. The movie experience, however, was not.

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