NORTH CAROLINA

 

North Carolina. What a beautiful state. It has three beautiful regions. Mountains, piedmont, and the ever eroding beaches. Come for the changing of the leaves, stay for the pig farms.

 

WHERE DID THE NAME COME FROM?

North Carolina was named after the feared dinosaur Northus Carolinius. It was known for it’s sharp teeth and it’s constant need for road construction.

 

CLIMATE

The climate in the state of North Carolina is considered awesome. And it’s only considered awesome if you love terrible weather. Enjoy the hot humid summers and the cold but not cold enough for snow winters.

 

CLIMATE EVENTS

A. Super storm of 1993- a huge storm that affected most of the united states, doing much damage and causing havoc to a lot of americans. Almost as much so as Dr. Phil.

B. Hurricane (pick a name any name) – many hurricanes have hit the area, causing massive erosion. The Cape Hatteras Lighthouse was quoted as saying “Oh no, not again.”

 

TOURIST ATTRACTIONS

1. Outer Banks. Known for it’s vast areas of sand.

2. Putt putt. Massive putt putts everywhere. Miniature golf is the only thing that fuels North Carolina’s economy. You will be able to find any putt putt course you wish and play on, since most of them are now out of business and closed.

 

HISTORY

– North Carolina was officially discovered in 1584. Sir Walter Raleigh was sailing, trying to find a new land so he’d have a place to stash his pot.

– North Carolina was the 12th state to ratify the Constitution. It was the 1st state to decide that Hootie and the Blowfish should have a career, something they have yet to be forgiven for.

– Civil War – North Carolina was heavily involved with the civil war. From oppressing slaves to shooting Stonewall Jackson, their own general, and killing him. On a side note, it is one of the states in the south that still practices racism.

– the first airplane was built at Kitty Hawk. It was a short flight, so there were no peanuts or drinks available.

 

DEMOGRAPHIC

Has a population of 8,856,505, though this is not counting the illegal immigrants who make up most of Western North Carolina.

 

RACES:

Caucasians – 55%

African American – 42%

Latinos – 20 % (all 20% live in the same trailer)

 

MAJOR CITIES

Charlotte – home to many sports teams like the Charlotte Bobcats, the Carolina Panthers, and the lesser known Charlotte Bank Employees.

Raleigh – Home to tobacco. Raleigh has only a year to live thanks to the lung cancer it was just diagnosed with last week. It claims it can quit anytime it wants.

 

EDUCATION

1% can read at an adult level

99% like books with pictures

 

RECREATION

Most north Carolinians enjoy playing basketball. Although most will never turn pro due to their Caucasian tendencies.

 

STATS AND FUN FACTS

– state bird: cardinal

-state motto: “Enjoy our beaches while they’re still there.”

– High Point is considered the furniture capital of the world. So while there is nothing to do in High Point, you will always have a place to sit down.

– The Graveyard of the Atlantic is where many ships have sunk to their doom. It is a vast graveyard of sunken ships and broken dreams. The east coasts version of Las Vegas.

– Babe Ruth hit his first home run in North Carolina. He also invented the candy bar at the same time.

– North Carolina is home to many lavish meth labs. Some even have running water.

– It is the leader in tobacco production, and the leading cause of those annoying Truth ads.

– the oldest town in the state is called Bath, named after the very thing it’s residents refuse to partake in.

 

– 9 out of 10 radio stations play country music, which in turn really depresses me

 

 

FAMOUS PEOPLE FROM NORTH CAROLINA

– Thomas Wolfe. A writer. Sadly, no one from his home state has ever read any of his books or heard of him at all.

– Clay Aiken. A singer of some sorts. It is unknown what sex Clay is, as well as why he/she is remotely popular.

– Andy Griffith. Actor. Whistler. He could arrest you for jay walking AND represent you in court.

– Dale Earnhardt. Race care driver. Known for driving in circles and turning left. Turning right is what killed him.

 

The map of North Carolina.   I only know this because it was labeled.

 

The Cape Hatteras Lighthouse.  Every day it inches closer and closer to it’s doom.

 

Nascar: the number two spectator sport in the world, behind competitive toastering.

 

the first flight of man.  the wright brothers only had a two hour delay and it only took them four hours to get through security and to check their luggage.

 

The Blue Ridge Parkway.  It is so beautiful that you barely notice the empty bear cans tossed to the side of the road.

 

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