This past week scientist revealed that it was extremely difficult to tell if a polar bear is male or female. Since I am an expert on polar bears, I decided I would show you the sure fire ways that you can tell what sex a polar bear is.

If the polar bear holds you one minute, but the next minute they rip your spine out, then it is a female.

If the polar bear refuses to ask for directions, then it is a male.

If the polar bear constantly nags you, telling you every single thing that you’ve done is wrong, then it is a female.

If the polar bear is always telling you how it should of married Stan who turned out to be a doctor, then it is a female (or male if in California).

If the polar bear has the ability to ignore anyone but a television, then it is a male.

If the polar bear really thinks Sandra Bullock is a great actress, then it is a female.

If the polar bear believes U2 are overrated, then it is a male.

If the polar bear begging for commitment, then it’s a female.

If the polar bear has poor taste in music, then it is most likely female.

If the polar bear is constantly destroying your self esteem, then it is female.

Advertisements