Currently my allergies are smacking me around. I cannot breathe out of my nostrils. So here is a list of things I would do if it would get me my ability to breathe out of my nose.

*I would kill a family of tiger cubs in front of their tiger cub cousins.

*I would murder a goat in front of it’s own mother.

*I would strangle kittens with my bare hands in front of a group of orphaned children.

*I would beat a small hamster until it’s lifeless body withered in agony.

*I would let Ric Flair chop me and then let his sweat drop onto my face.

*I would smother a gopher and then throw it’s stiff dead body at it’s father.

My point is I would really like to breathe out of my nose. Is that so much to ask? I think not.

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