I’m starting a new segment here on Johnnyism. We all know my intense hatred of what I call “stupid music”. I’m looking at you, Nickelback. So I will begin to go through the top 40 songs getting air time on America’s radio and I will dissect them, lyric by lyric. I will be using Billboard’s list for this. I will post the lyrics, and then I will tell you what the artist is trying to say. This will be whatever genre too. Whatever I can pick out of the top 40. It’s all game.

Today’s song is…..

Soulja Boy – Kiss Me Thru The Phone


Baby, u know that I miss u
I wanna get with u
Tonight but I can’t now baby girl
And that’s the issue

He obviously has a girlfriend/baby’s mama that he’s unable to get to. Maybe he could be in jail? He could just be out on the road living that thug life. But the point he’s trying to make is that tonight he won’t be able to be with her.


Girl u know I miss u
I just wanna kiss u
But I can’t right now so baby
Kiss me through the phone

He still misses his girlfriend/baby’s mama. He would really enjoy attempting to kiss her. He just can’t right now you see? He’s not there. He can’t kiss her. So he would like for her to make out with the phone and pretend that phone is him. He’s going to pretend that the phone is her too, and then proceed to smash the phone repeatedly onto a table (wait, this is Soulja Boy, not Chris Brown).


Kiss me through the phone
(I’ll see u later on)

Kiss me through the phone

Kiss me through the phone
(See ya when I get home)

I think this is the chorus. In this incredible bit of poetry, the author just wants his lady to kiss him through the phone. Or kiss the phone. He doesn’t take into account that she could get germs. How inconsiderate. He also adds that he will see her later on, when he gets home, and when he does, I guess then she can still kiss him on the phone.


Baby, I know that u like me
U my future wifey
Soulja boy tell’em yea
U can be my bonnie
I can be yo’ clyde

Here he is obviously professing his love to her by referring to her as a “wifey” which is street slang for that crack hoe he banged and got pregnant. He also puts his own name in these parts just so she knows who’s future wifey she is. In the next two lines, he compares them to Bonnie and Clyde. He could of also went with Fred and Wilma, Turner and Hooch, Mickie and Minnie, or Scarecrow and Mrs. King.


U can be my wife
Text me, call me
I need u in my life
Yea all day
Everyday I need ya
And everytime I see ya
My feelings get deeper
I miss ya, I miss ya
I really wanna kiss ya
But I can’t(but I can’t)
678 triple 9 8212

Again he wants her to know they could be married and live the perfect life of scrapping on the streets and going from drug deal to drug deal. And although he may seem like a thug, he embraces new technology. He urges her to text him or call him since that will make her seem that she’s in even more of his life. She can text him while he’s banging some other shawty while he’s making his next record. With every text and every time he sees her, he apparently loves her more. He misses her so much that he wants to kiss her, but for some reason he just can’t. But he can apparently give out her phone number to the public.


Baby I’ve been thinkin lately
So much about u
Everything about u
I like it, I love it
Kissing u in public
Thinking nothing of it

He’s been reflecting. He’s been thinking about her. He deeply enjoys everything about her. From her drugged up blood shot eyes to her cocaine rotted out teeth. He really likes her, and really loves her, so much in fact, that he would hold her hand in public. He might even claim that baby as his. He doesn’t even think twice about hugging her. In front of people even!


She call my phone like da(20x)
We on da phone like da(20x)
We takin pics like da(20x)
She dial my numba like da(10x)
678 triple 9 8212

So she apparently calls his phone a lot. The word “da” apparently means more than once. So that means they’re on the phone a lot, they take pictures of each other a lot, she even dials his number a lot (which makes sense considering in the first part of this he stated that she calls his phone a lot, which would mean that she dials it a lot).

So, in conclusion, this song is fantastic. It really made me want to ram my head into a concrete mall like da.

I’m going to end all these with a song I like. Please enjoy this weeks Johnnyism pick.

This week’s pick:  The Airborne Toxic Event – Gasoline