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Years ago Michael Jackson brought together different artists and made “We Are The World.”  And like everything else America does, they decided to remake “We Are The World” and do nothing original with it.  They played this during the Olympics.  I am about to provide you a service and comment what I’m thinking as I watch and listen to the video.

Please note that I am not against helping those in need. I’m against this particular “We Are The World” video purely because if it shows the state of music at the moment, then I know the reason why album sales are non existent.

These are the thoughts and observations I had as I watched this.

1)Haven’t I heard this song before?

2)Why is there a child singing at the beginning?

3)Michael Jackson singing about children with his sister?

4)Barbara Streisand?  Really?

5)Dear Celine Dion, please stop.

6)I honestly don’t know who most of those people are….

7)Apparently the best way to show Haiti love is to use Autotune?

8)Group rap session?  Even rappers have hearts people.

9)Was there a black guy trying to yodel?

10)I feel ya Kanye, I feel ya.

11)If I was Haiti, I’d tell them to try this again and make it better.

12)I don’t get how that just ended.  What was that guy doing?  Was he choking on a potato chip?

13)Maybe they couldn’t get real artists to sing for this.

14)Watching this should have inspired me.

15)Watching this made me tired.

Perhaps you liked this video.  That’s fine.  You’re allowed to like crappy things.

What’s up blog peeps?  I know what you all have been begging for.  Another mess of dating advice from me, Johnny Townsend.  A guru on what ladies love.  In this post, I will tell you exactly what to ask for and what each of her answers to your questions mean on the first date. 

So you finally work up the courage to talk to that fly honey you’ve had your eye on.  But what exactly do you say once you’ve conquered your fear and walked up to her and she’s staring at you with her beautiful eyes?  Have no fear, that’s what I’m here for. 

Here is what you should say on first approach.

“Hey, would you do me the honor of allowing me to buy you a drink?”

Here’s an example of what you probably shouldn’t say.

“Hey, would you do me the honor of allowing me to stalk you?”

So you just asked her if you can buy her a drink, now you await her answer.  But what exactly does each answer mean?  FEAR NOT FOR I AM HERE!!!

If she says…

“Sure.”    (this means you’re in, but she’s not completely sure about you.  Probably because of how your face looks)

“No thanks.”  (this means she’s not thirsty or she doesn’t find your X-Men tee shirt that appealing)

“Yes.”  (you will never hear this answer.  Disregard it.  If you do hear it, it’s more than likely some sick game she is playing)

So you’ve just bought her a drink.  But your job is not over my friends.  You must ask her yet another question….

“Would you do me the honor of letting me buy you dinner?”

Of course, as like before, she could answer in different ways…

“Nah I already ate.”  (she only used you to buy her that drink)

“You look like you’ve already ate enough.”  (she is a mean person and has just hurt my…err I mean your feelings)

“You smell.”  (you probably should have showered)

“You know what?  Sure.” (she’s depressed and is just glad to have attention from someone, also, could have daddy issues)

Then dinner arrives.  And it all goes extremely well.  You make her laugh.  You listen to everything she tells you.  It’s turning out to be a beautiful evening.  But everyone knows what that means.  It’s time to see if this is going to lead to anything else.  But what exactly do you ask for at her door?  Read on!!

“May I have a kiss?”

“May I come in?”

“I think American Idol is on.  May I watch it with you inside?”

All those questions rarely work.  So what do you say?  How do you get the girl of your dreams to realize you’re the prince charming she’s been waiting for?  Below is the line you MUST memorize.  It is a never fail line and soon you will be hand in hand with your dream girl. 

“I’m a bad boy with issues who you will want to change but won’t be able too.  Also I’m in a band.  And I need to borrow money.”

This never fails.  You follow my guide here, and you are guarenteed not to be alone on Valentine’s Day playing Call of Duty 5.  Or the new Wii Mario Brothers game.  Dang I love that game….