You are currently browsing the category archive for the ‘monty python’ category.

this past week if you noticed, i did not do any daily doings of my day.  this is because i was in texas on a business trip and the hotel was going to charge me 4 bucks and hour to use the internet.  if you know me, then you know i’m cheap.  so, this is a supersized version that i trimmed down to just tell you a little of what went on and some of my amazingly amazing observations.


-this was my first airplane ride.  i was a bit uneasy about it, since i have a fear of heights (not the heights really, falling from them and smashing into the pavement below part).  and besides being overly crowded it wasn’t to terrible.  went on without a problem it seemed.

-my first time in texas.  when i left north carolina, i had on a hoodie due to the friggin artic blasts, but as soon as we got to texas i start to sweat so much i could bathe in the moisture (i paint amazingly beautiful pictures i know). 

-so we get a taxi.  now, i dunno how long some of you have been driving,  but it seems to me that when you want to get out of your car you should probably first put the car in park.  call me crazy.  our driver, however, did not share that same thought process.

-the room was pretty nice.  a bed that i could actually lay on.  most beds in hotels are so stiff you might as well be sleeping on a basketball court.  i’m looking at you myrtle beach!  russ doesnt have cable, so he was fascinated by espn.  this made me feel slightly better about him having to tie my tie (more on this later). 

-we are one of the first ones there to set up.  all goes well.  our setup looks mighty beautiful, as if an artist was painting the scene before us.  it was as if we had just won world war II.  the feeling had to be the same.

-we were bored the rest of the day with nothing to do.  little did i know i’d be working so much soon to make up for that.


-hello 6:15 am, how are you?  me?  well, i’m tired and i hate you.

-as some of you know, i was forced to put on a suit.  how did i look?  well, i’m very modest so ill just say i looked breath takingly goofy.  which, as you might have guessed, is the best i have looked in quite some time. 

-i can never get a tie right.  i had thought i had learned it, but no.  this proves to me that i am half polish (EDITORS NOTE: the views and comments on this page are solely those of one Johnny Townsend.  he does not actually know any polish people that he knows of and so makes fun of things unfamiliar to him.  this goes for his comments on jews, arabs, chinese, african americans, and spinach).

-the convention.  we are next to some cool people from UPS who, in a bit of irony, were waiting on their packages to get there so they could finish setting up. in the next stanza, i shall give a brief overview of the people there.


most of the people we met were incredibly nice.  they were from all over.  from the UPS peeps next to us to the other guys we met and hung out with, such as Dr. G.  I am allowed to call Dr. Gary  Doctor G since he now knows me and gave me that privelidge.  unless you ask him.  then he will probably forget who i am and what i’m talking about. 


so many to list.  one guy i saw looked sort of like one of the guys from Friends.  another guy i thought closely resembled stephen king.  one time i thought i saw tim duncan, but it was just a tree.  it can be understood why i thought that since a tree, like tim duncan, is tall and wooden. 


-another day, another 6 am wake up.  another time of cursing earlyness.

-we seem to be doing well with promoting our business.  i believe this is due to the teamwork of me and russell.  he answers all their questions, tells them all the details, sounds insanely smart and educated, and comes off as an expert in the field.  i make lame jokes and look completely stupid.  i am, however, able to give them free pens, so i am not completely useless.

-we actually got a few people who already use us tell us how pleased they are with us.  this actually brought more people over to us.  so thanks bob! 

DAY FOUR (note: i cant remember what happened when, so im finishing it all up here)

-segue ways are awesome.  if you have a chance to take a tour on one, do so.  this is how i saw the alamo.  oddly tho, while enjoying myself, i was still “working” by talking to the other peeps on the ride.  how majestic we all looked upon our segueways, following each other in a straight line wearing helmets.  if this doesn’t make me look attractive, then all hope is lost. 

-the alamo.  this was the one thing i wanted to make sure i saw while in san antonio.  while its pretty much just a couple walls and the main church left, it was still something incredible to behold.  that is where 200 or less men held off an entire mexican army.  it is were davey crockett breathed his last breath.  highly amazing.

-stayed till about 1030 pm joking around with the other guys there.  wierdly enough, i finally became handy and russ realized why he had brought me.  it was for my ability to talk about stupid things that would seem to have no use.  i did not dream that my knowledge of monty python and dumb and dumber and the office would be a saving grace.  God works in mysterious ways.


-time to leave.  russ wanted to get something for his wife before leaving, and this took us aproximately 47 days. 

-the airplane ride back was decent again.  tho when touching down in charlotte, the guy seemed to slam on the breaks.  it was great fun.  also, on the plane ride from san antonio to dallas, i asked for a sprite.  instead of the can, they pretty much gave me what was the equivelant of one shot of sprite. 

-in charlotte at last.  what a long week.  perhaps if it happens again i will be more useful.  we shall see.  thats all for now peeps.  hope everyone had a great week and survived without any daily johnnyism doses.