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Everyone knows that the NBA was amazing in the 90s.  I was lucky enough to grow up in the era in which not only had Michael Jordan, but also featured the Dream Team, Shawn Kemp, and the Charlotte Hornets.  Today we’re gonna dive deep into the real reasons as to why the 90s NBA was the greatest.  Starting with….Grandmama.


Larry Johnson was a powerful undersized forward for the Charlotte Hornets.  When he wasn’t playing basketball with someone roughly the size of your youngest child (Muggsy Bogues), he would spend his free time dressed up as an elderly woman.  It’s not my place to ask why nor is it my place to judge.  All I know is that when Grandmama stepped on the black top in an episode of Family Matters and played ball with a now somehow coordinated Steve Urkel my childhood was complete.  Not even Eddie Winslow could stop Grandmama!


Space Jam

The year was 1996.  The world would never be the same after the great documentary “Space Jam” was released.  In this gritty little indie film, Michael Jordan is just minding his own business playing golf with Larry Bird and Peter Venkman when he’s pulled into a new world in which a rabbit and his friends are going to be forced into slavery.  Jordan not only saves their world, but he also saves the talents of Charles Barkley, Grandmama, Muggsy Bogues, Patrick Ewing, and some tall white Mormon guy.  This film is vital to our history.


Lil’ Penny

Penny Hardaway was another one of the players I loved as a child.  This guy could ball.  But what was even better than he was Lil Penny.  Lil Penny would be everywhere.  Some say he was just a doll.  But I like to think that he was a part of Penny Hardaway.  A very small part that loved to do commercials.

That’s all for today.  I’ve said this before, I know, but I hope to start to keep this blog up and going again.  It has been a few years since I had.  So stay tuned!

even though my day wasn’t that great, i shall still provide yall with a few highlights. 

 all this happened today

–the quietest walk ever.  sometimes i let my stupidity get the best of me.

–the nicest person i talked to today was a lawyer.  the world is trully topsy turvey.  i have found more reasons why i detest the phone.

–i fell asleep last night and slept nicely.  that is until somewhere around 330ish.  that is when my body said “hey johnny, i know what we should do.   instead of gettin the sleep you so desperately need, how about we wake up and lay in bed for at least an hour?” 

–tyler hansbrough is incredible.  some people think he won’t play well in the pros.  i say he’ll make a NBA team that’s already good even better.  with that being said, i would like to offer my services to the Miami Heat.  hey, if you can go 9-42 without me, then you can’t really do any worse with me.  plus i have quite a nice ability to hit shots.  i will now wait by my phone for a phone call mr. wade, or is it pookie now?

–next week is dawning on me now.  so many questions…will i do well?  will i mess up?  will i let down those who employ me (who i also count as close personal friends so that makes the situation fill with even more pressure) ?  will i forget to put pants on thus show up at the exquisite conference show with a really nice shirt and some really nice boxers?  will i be able to survive missing an episode of lost (the magic 8 ball says “outlook not good”)?

–my forehead still looks almost cave man like.  it’s true.  look at my forehead closely next time you see me.  ask me if you can feel my forehead so you can feel that protruding bone. 

well thats all for now.  im now going to kick back and watch Shaq and Nash take on Kobe and Pau.  my day may have been crappy, but basketball wise it’s been just dandy.  over and out!

welcome to another day.  

DATE : 2/18/08

MOOD: ehhhhh

SONG: Sufjan Stevens – Seven Swans

8:00 pm (2/17/08) – the nba all star game.  what are my thoughts on it?  hmm..

–lebron james is quite good

–chris paul is also good

–there were no white people playing in the all star games.  unless you count dirk nowitski, tho he’s technically german.  and steve nash, but he’s canandian and do they really count? 

there was my expert analysis.  give me a job espn. 

12:00 midnight –  i am now in bed forcing myself to sleep.  curse you night owlness!

6:00 AM — this is when i start to wake up.  if i ever have kids this will be how i punish them.  am i saying my boss, who’s name i will not say, tho it does rhyme with brussell, is a slave driver?  hmmm… perhaps.  while i don’t pick cotton, i am forced to key in things into the computer all day while drussell stands behind me, hitting me on my back with a wooden spoon while laughing evil like. 

8:00 am — i get to work.  i will not tell you of some of the more interesting things that happened today.

..i found out that i remember less about mandy then she remembers about me.  at least i think thats what was said i really wasn’t paying that close of attention. 

…lawyers sound really mean.

..old people hate paying money they owe. 

 ..Kansas is a state.  not to be confused with Arkansas.

….if the south had won the civil war, then the united states would all be like alabama, and is that what we want? 

5:00 –i get off work.  i now have an hour and a half to kill before heading to church for an amazingly fun meeting.  i spend this time checking out stores.  i also bought two great dvd’s that really show my maturity.  those would include Homeward Bound an Incredible Journey and Disney’s the Hunchback of Notre Dame.  yes, i am 25 years old.

6:30 –meeting at church.  very hush hush.  some things i cannot say.  you are just not allowed to know this insider information.  such as the pants i was wearing were really red.  crap i probably shouldn’t of said that out loud.

8:00–finally make it home.  what a long day.  i don’t even really have time to watch one of the movies i had just purchased.  here are some of my observations of the day…

-i like star trek more then i would like to admit.  perhaps im coming to terms to my inner nerdness.

-women dislike themselves due to how society says that they should be.  i blame public education, the root of all evil.

-im not saying roger clemons is a liar, but i will say that he has a hard time trying to convince us what he wants us to believe is true.  when you talk and you make president bush sound like he paid attention in college, then perhaps you should use a script. 

-the deer will end up causing almost 2000 dollars worth of damage to my moms car.  and before you ask, yes the deer is dead.  and i for one am glad!  run at me will you….

thats all for today folks.  you’re gettin this for free, so if you complain, then i will send deer after you.  they are attracted to me after all.  over and out. 

in an effort to pay more attention to this blog as compared to my other one, i have decided to start posting what i will call a “daily update”.  this will consist of being awfully journal like, so my apologies before hand.  and i did say journal.  i didn’t say diary.  that would be girly.  and i havent had a diary since last year.  these updates will be posted almost every day, unless i feel like not writing them.  so, if you have ever wondered how johnny townsend spends his days, this is the moment you have been waiting for….


7:30 AM – i had to get up early today.  on a sunday.  this should be outlawed.  the reason for getting up early was so that i could make it to church and practice with the worship team.  what should be noted is that while i have seen 730 AM before, it still feels like it doesn’t exist, and shouldn’t. 

 8:30 AM – i arrived at church on time, which for those who know me, is proof that miracles still in fact exist.  one of the songs picked out for worship team was “as the deer panteth for the water”.  this is ironic since i had just last night hit a deer with my mom’s new car.  i have now found a new sense of hatred toward deer, and for the first time ever feel no sympathy for Bambi. 

practice went as usual.  why they ask me to sing is beyond me.  perhaps they don’t actually listen.  i believe it’s called “pitty”, which is actually what has gotten me through my entire life. 

 9:45 – church starts.  usual service.  since i sat next to trevor, the dumb jokes last the entire service.  mainly about how at the upcoming church work day they will probably have us literally digging our own graves. 

11:00 – sunday school class.  since this is the third sunday of the month, i did not have to teach the youth class.  instead i went into the men’s class, which is about the struggles of men.  the next question you should ask is “have you ever felt as awkward before?” the answer would be “yes, at the men’s retreat where these same questions were raised.”  want a preview?


“She was blessed.”

“how old were you when you saw your first pair?”

see the fun?  endless awkward conversations.  mainly involved the older guys telling the single young guys (which consisted of two of us) about life.  its a great feeling to be singled out.  its good to have something that really tells you how much you don’t fit in.  cue depression…

1:00 pm – lunch at a mexican place.  el passo i believe.  actually quite good if you like mexican food.  it was good to have lunch with friends.  need to do that more often.  i also discovered that i make racial jokes without trying, and that some of my jokes might possibly go too far.  maybe.  i did also too discover that amy goes there so much, the mexicans that work there make small talk with her.  she also knows how to speak fluent mexican off of the menu.

3:30 – i have to call the insurance for my mom to report the “accident.”  here is a part of the transcript….

ME: is this who i talk to if i hit a deer?

WOMAN:  Yes.

ME:  well i hit a deer.

see how intelligent that starts out?  it gets even more so.

WOMAN:  so tell me what happened.

ME:  the deer hit me, i believe it was suicidal.  Is there a way i can sue the deer?

that was perhaps the best phone call ive had with an insurance. 

5:00 – watched the end of the daytona 500.  i thought that maybe they would try to go right for a change, but alas, they did not. 

6:00 – played the next game in my season on NBA 2K8.  finished the entire game.  my guy had a double double.  i say this to tell you that the game decided to die just before i could save it.  my life is now over. 

7:00 – i get on this thing and start to type this.  this typing is live.  real time even.  i am getting ready to watch the NBA all star game, and you should be too. 

that is all i can give you, since it is now up to the time i put last.  i hope you enjoyed getting to know what johnny does on days.  if you didn’t, then why did you read you big stupif?