You are currently browsing the tag archive for the ‘Cartoon Network’ tag.

Why am I still single? Someone asked me when Smurfs volume 2 comes out on dvd and I knew the answer.

Why am I still single? The highlight of my week was Guitar Hero World Tour.

Why am I still single? My mom buys my cereal.

Why am I still single? The Simpsons season 11 came out and I didn’t get it, thus depressing me and proving my foolishness considering I have the first 10.

Why am I still single? I complain about the music played on the radio instead of just accepting it, which would give me something to talk to women about. You know, so I can use the opening line “hey have you heard that new Nickelback song?”

Why am I still single? Instead of moving into an apartment and away from home, I bought a new car instead.

Why am I still single? I thought having a new car would improve my odds.

Why am I still single? I’d rather sit around making jokes with Trevor than go to a club and have women there rub themselves on me. And let’s face it. Most women at clubs have decided that they’re down on their last chance and are desperate. At the risk of stereotyping, most women at clubs will sleep with you if you tell them your name and that you have a job.

Why am I still single? I was proud to be a momma’s boy. That is until it was pointed out to me that being a momma’s boy isn’t exactly appealing.

Why am I still single? Women have standards.

Why am I still single? I’m a guy who writes a blog.

Why am I still single? I got a new cell phone and told everyone, hoping that would prove to them that I’m heading in a positive direction in my life.

Why am I still single? I once blew off some women friends so I could get home in time to catch a new episode of Law and Order: Criminal Intent.

Why am I still single? I make people watch things I find funny, even though I know they don’t share the same sense of humor as me.

Why am I still single? My mom warms my car up in the mornings before I go to work.

Why am I still single? I can’t make drinkable Kool-Aid.

Why am I still single? I never finish things. Case in point: three months ago I decided to decorate my room with movie posters since I love movies. Total movie poster count as of right now: 2

Why am I still single? I can quote lines from Airplane!, Dumb and Dumber, Monty Python and the Search for the Holy Grail, and most shows that appear on Cartoon Networks’ Adult Swim.

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