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RHODE ISLAND

 

 

 

 

Rhode Island is the United States smallest state. This is actually the only thing you ever need to know about it. You should actually go back and read about a different state. Go on, I wouldn’t blame you. The one on Kentucky is pretty good.

 

 

WHERE THE NAME COME FROM

 

Ok really? You actually want to know where the name for Rhode Island came from? You’re doing this for a school project aren’t you? Alright fine. I’ll tell you. The name came from some guy who wanted to call it “red island.” They ended up changing the name after deciding the color red was just to violent.

 

 

CLIMATE

 

No one actually knows since the state is not large enough to be inhabited.

 

MAJOR CLIMATE EVENTS

 

Nothing major has ever happened to Rhode Island. Most storms just don’t have the heart to destroy something so small. Rhode Island just looks so cute standing there, pretending to be a grown up.

 

TOURIST ATTRACTIONS

 

Rhode Island doesn’t have many. No one ever has time to stop due to the fact that the entire state is one car length long.

 

 

HISTORY

 

1776: Rhode Island was the first colony to declare for independence from Great Britain. Rhode Island is still upset by the fact that no one really cared until Massachusetts declared independence themselves. Rhode Island is also angered by the fact that Massachusetts still gives it noogies after all these years.

1790: Rhode Island ushered in the industrial revolution. This ended hundreds of years of suffering by African Americans by starting a new era of suffering inside factories making items they themselves could not afford.

1812: Rhode Island refused to participate in the War of 1812. What Rhode Island didn’t realize was that it was never asked to.

1910: The population of Rhode Island reaches 540,000. No one knows how they all fit in there.

 

 

 

DEMOGRAPHIC

 

Rhode Island is made up of thousands of people from all creeds who wish their state was someone else.

 

 

PERCENTAGES

 

White: 65%

African American: They’re just there to crash on the couch for a few days.

People Who Like Numbers: 15%

People Who Believe The Simpsons stopped being funny ten seasons ago: 54%

 

 

MAJOR CITIES

 

You’re kidding right?

 

 

EDUCATION

 

100% read about their states own importance

100% become depressed afterwards

 

 

RECREATION

 

Rhode Islanders enjoy traveling. This is easier for them since they can get from one side of the state to the other in just under five minutes.

 

 

STATE AND FUN FACTS

 

-the first open golf tournament was held in Rhode Island. The first golfer hit his ball into another state. This is not as impressive as it sounds, since he only hit it a little under 100 yards.

– if you ask someone from Rhode Island about their state, they will tell you that Rhode Island is pretty much a living historical museum. When pressed for details, Rhode Islanders will then tell you they said that just so they’d feel important.

– Portsmouth was the first town established by a woman. This angered most men since that meant that she had not cooked dinner yet.

 

 

FAMOUS RHODE ISLANDERS

 

James Woods: apparently he is some sort of actor. I had to really reach to find famous people from Rhode Island.

Seth MacFarlene: known for making the animated comedy show Family Guy. Family Guy takes place in Rhode Island, making it the only thing to ever make the state remotely entertaining.

Unknown Person: I’m sure there will be more famous people from Rhode Island. So this is a place holder for that next person.

 

You have now seen the entire state of Rhode Island.

 

Oh this is James Woods.  I think I’ve seen this guy in some things, though I can’t quite place it.

 

This cell phone is only slightly larger then the state of Rhode Island.

This may in deed be the shortest entry into this blog. I have decided that I miss a lot of things. Here they are in no particular order.

1. Arrested Development. Oh George Michael, you left us way to soon.

2. Aerosmith. Wait, that’s one I wish would leave.

3. Mel Gibson. Look Mellie, I know you might be a jew hater, but gosh darn it, I really enjoyed Signs.

4. Steve Carrell. I know he’s in movies, but they take to long to come out. My man crush grows on this man who is so talented I wish to become him. Or be adopted by him.

5. The Daily Show special reports. There are not enough of them.

6. America’s morals. Sorry, I had to include one thing slightly political.

7. British comedy. It just grows and grows more awesomely.

8. My golf game. Ok ok, I never actually had a golf game, but when I go to the golf course by golly I pretend.

9. Nicholas Cage’s acting ability. Oh ha ha ha. I keep forgetting he never had that.

10. Weekends. You wait all week for them to show up and then they only stay for two and a half days.

11. Girls telling me that there is a girl out there for me it’s just not apparently them. Hey wait a minute…I get this all the time.

12. Snakes. They have no legs yet still get around? That’s about as unnatural as MTV airing shows about teenage children who are unrealistically spoiled by their overly rich parents who let their teenagers run every aspect of their life and choose not to set boundaries so the kids come off as the rich snotty too good for everyone bast holes they really are.

13. The Far Side. Dang I love those cartoons.

And of course…

14.

 

 

Are there things you miss?  please i beg you to share.  Leave a comment!